False Gods

Sneaky little bastard!

I’ve had another argument with my flat. It seems the pathetic one is being very clever and underhanded about it. I’d probably be impressed if I wasn’t furious. But no matter, I’ll get the little bastard for it somehow.

Everyone been bitching at me for stealing his cheese. Well, sorry, cheese substitute. He carefully pointed out to everyone that I stole it, an hour after me and him argued last week. Very clever. I haven’t spoken to the little fucker for over a month, ever since the last argument. I have completely denied his existence, not speaking to him, looking at him, or even throwing the little cunt out of my way when he starts standing around to piss me off. I’ve just patiently waited, throwing mental curses at him.

So, they’ve all started bitching at me for stealing it, which I find very clever. He could at least have had the decency to have me stealing something decent, but substitute cheese? Something which I have never tried nor have any desire to. Apparently its not the only food of his I’ve stolen, and thats despicable because he shouldn’t have to hide his food.

So, it brought me to my old point, of why there are different rules for him and me. When my food was going missing it was my own fault, but when his vanishes it is my fault and despicable. I then ask why it was as this when I had £100 stolen from me.

To answer this one you may need some background. It’s quite simple, stupidly, I used to keep my food in my cupboard, and I kept my rent money hidden under it, so that it would be easily accessible when the landlord came. One day however, I found myself short for the rent, by £100. In my normal way, I went into a witch-hunt shouting at everyone, and Stewart started crying, because he knew “how this must look”. You see, it just so happened that on this day, his mother, wsho had cut him off moneywise several months before had taken pity on him and given him £100.

Now, this was another of the things which was brought up in our fight last month, and I told him to watch his back, because I want my money back, and he asked what money. He had no memory of this ever having happened. Suspicious.

Either way, I’m now back at friction point, and very ready to lose my temper again. I have decided to put things my way. Since I am being blamed for taking all of his food, I have done so. Perhaps not the best way to do things, but as the saying goes, I may as well be hung for a sheep as for a lamb. Double jeopardy – I’ve already been sentenced, so why not do the crime, they cant shout at me for it again.

In addition to this I have declared Open Season against all worshippers of false gods: Vegetarians and Vegans. Now, I may have to explain this somewhat as well – I do not have a problem with all herbivores, but it depends upon the circumstances. If people don’t eat meat because they dont like the taste, or the texture, or some reason along those lines, so be it. Similarly if they have been brought up as vegetarians then I’m fine with that. If on the other hand they one day decide that making animals suffer, or worse still (as in Stewarts case) become Vegan for a bet, then I stand fully against them. Lastly, should they only eat apples that have fallen off of trees or similar, then I stand against them with all my might, as this is not the way the world should be.

If we take a look at the animal kingdom, there are three main groups for creatures: Carnivore, Herbivore and Omnivore. Now, although we would fall into the omnivore, it is not a fair depiction of us, since we just completely decide. Carnivores all kill for their food; Herbivores eat from the trees because their stomachs can not digest meat. We however choose, and should we decide its wrong to kill something, we choose herbivore. Now why should we be the only creatures to do this? Whens the last time anyone heard of a lion only eating grass because it thought killing the antelope was wrong? The only restriction which the animal kingdom appears to have on what to eat and kill, is that there are very few cannibal species out there, so that is where we should draw the line. And as for not eating any animal products at all – does this etend to human breast feeding? This is completely natural, but presumably vegans wont do it. Hell, they wont drink milk from a cow, surely they cant let their children have it from a human. Surely this is vegan cannibalism.

In addition to this, I have decided to boycott all fake products. From now on, Cheese Substitutes and Meat Substitues are to be considered banned goods. If Vegans have decided that they don’t want to use any animal products then they can fuck off for other products. Wont touch milk? Well screw having fake cheese, why bother having the same thing as us? Nobody prefers mega-block to Lego, you a want lego and arent happy with the mega blocks, but if the lego isnt good enough, the blocks sure as hell arent. The same thing should stand – if you wont eat meat, dont eat stuff which tastes like it but isnt. And as for many other Vegan things, the lot of them shoulkd be shot. No meat I can vaguely understand, bacuse it does mean a death. No milk from a cow? It doesnt hurt them! No eggs from hens? They lay the fucking things anyway, might as well eat them rather than bin them. Here the thing people – eggs from hens are allways fertilized, we dont eath the fertile ones. We’re not killing a chicken foetus, its just an egg. The worst one is not eating honey because “the bees are exploited”. They’re fucing bees, doing what bees do! They like making honey, they live to make honey, and they dont really even use the fucking honey. If they’re exploited, they’ll start a fucking union. If they dont, I presume they enjkoy it, because every one of them making honey, is one thats not getting shot with the bug spray, or slapped with a newspaper.

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