Calm down, wee man

Well, it’s happened again. Hassle with the neighbour.
For the past couple of months, I’ve been dealing with constant torrents of abuse, shouting at me from through the floorboards. Very big, and brave I felt, but thats it. I’ve had several different variations of what is shouted, but all of it remains highly offensive, and always refers to my constant banging. Now, this has actually been mentioned before. Within the first week in the flat, I recieved a letter from the “Edinburgh Mediators” regarding the constant noise, and so I went down to speak to the neighbour and apologise, and solve the problem. Now, when I spoke to the guy; a rank little man who answered in a filthy Hearts football top; he explained that it was because of the furniture moving all the time, and it was driving him crazy. Since moving in however, there has been no furniture moving, and so I suggested to the man, that perhaps the noise was coming from the
guy beside me, who was at that point redecorating his house, and had a new bed and sofa delivered recently. But this couldn’t have been it, I was told, because the man explained that he knew science, and had a friend looked into it too, and it was only possible for the sound to travel straight down… it wasnt possible to go along, or be coming up from his neighbour, thats not physically possible. Now this makes me beg 1 question, which I hope is also in your mind at the moment – if sound can only travel straight down, how do we hold conversations. Indeed, as I am in fact a lot taller than my neighbour, how can I even hear what he says, without kneeling down?
Anyway, I decided not to ask this question, and instead spoke to attempt to resolve the problem, I tried a few things to discover what the problem was, involving jumping up and down on the floor, and slamming the door, but when he said that it wasnt any of those creating the problem. In the end, I just suggested that next time we make the noise, he come straight up and tell us, and we should then know what was making the noise. After a few days there was no comeback, so we assumed the problem had resolved itself.
On the other hand, about a week later we started hearing shouting in the building. This was coming from a really evil sounding voice, and we were actually pretty worried about whoever was getting shouted at. It was so bad that we actually considered contacting the police, feeling that whoever was being shouted at could be in danger, or was even the victim of abuse. However, not fully sure what to say we did nothing, and felt pretty lousy about it, but I remember my sister getting in trouble with the police for calling them when she found a group of people hitting a horse in a field with sticks, and she was shouted at for wasting police time because they didnt catch anyone.
It was about another week after this that we heard the shouting more clearly, and it was all about the noise we were making. I put up with it for about a week, and then, upon hearing abuse which sounded far beyond offensive I contacted the police about it, but they said they couldnt do anything, unless they heard the abuse themselves, but pointed out they wouldnt be able to come around until about 1am to hear it. I suggested recording t, and I was told, not only shouldn’t I do it, but it would in fact be an invasion of his privacy if we did so.
Again this gave me a lot of confusion, as I dont see how recording something within my flat is invading his privacy? Surely if you shout at the top of your voice you forsake privacy to all those who hear it? Well, there we were.
So, for the past month I’ve put up with the shouting, until last week, I was contacted by my landlord who had had a complaint called in about the noise. They had been told that it is worst between 10am and midday, and continued the whole time. Now, on the day they recieved this complaint I had actually been awoken by hammering as he had a joiner in. Its probably also worth noting, I’ve not been awake before 2pm in the past 6 months, so couldnt possibly make noise at 10am.
So, again I’ve contacted the police because of the constant abuse, and the fact we are now awoken by an alarm clock at 9 every day. I mean, how loud do you need a fucking alarm? Anyway, the police said they wouldnt do anything in case they inflamed the situation. It fucking pissed me off, this abuse is causing severe stress and misery, but they dont want to inflame it? Get off your fucking arses! Do your bastarding job! If you inflame it, get off your arses and do your job PROPERLY! Twats!

Anyway, today I got some bad news, and then, while sitting, watching TV at the point the shouting started again, from Laura going to the toilet. I just lost it, I threw on some clothes, and ran straight down and banged on the door. The tosser came out, and said the most offensive thing he could have. “Calm down, wee man”. I mean, WHAT THE FUCK? What gives anyone the right to shout at me, and then come quivering to the door and say, to me of all people “Calm down, wee man”. Where the fuck,does some useless little balding 5’4″ tosser who obviously just waddled to the door as he shits himself at a furious me, get off thinking saying “Calm down, wee man” after months of abuse from the comfort of a deadbolted door, will make me just sit down and say “your right, I’m sorry, I’ll try to be more considerate”.
I lay into him majorly, I’d had enough of feeling like shit, and it was his turn. He kept closing the door more and more, but seemed to be too scared to fully shut it in case I’d kick it in. I think my words were pretty much “There is no noise, its all in your head, you stupid, bald-bastard fuck”. It was explained that he had a friend round who heard it as well, but he just got warned if it didnt stop, I’d be contacting the police again, and if that didn’t work I’d sort it myself. So, in the end, he just agreed that there was no noise. I wasn’t even shouted at from behind the door when I left, so I don’t know whether to take that as admittance that he just looking to make me miserable, or hes too scared to hold onto the ‘your making too much noise’ line. Either way, I think it’ll stop now, at least for a little while, otherwise I’ll go down, and if that doesnt work, some other people will. I just know I was careful enough to not hreaten him, except by the police, and shout loud enough that the whole building must have heard, so I shouldn’t be short of witnesses. I know at least one definitely, so I cant get in any shit this time.
Until then, he’s been added to my hit list, so he will be forced to live a fucking miserable life himself.

Anyway, thats it for now. Venting done. Hopefully this’ll be it for a while, but lets face it, its me – someones gonna start on me in the supermarket again or something for no reason. Either way, maybe I can sleep soundly tonight.

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