Makes me sick

Right, I’m going to say it. I’ll be called pathetic, but I don’t give a fuck anymore. I’ve been to David Quinns funeral yesterday. A great friend for years, and he died, on Tuesday 04 September.
Now, I know David was quite a private person, but he got on well with everybody. I’ve thought about it, for quite a while really, and I honestly can’t think of a single person who he was disliked by, or didn’t get on with. It’s because of this I feel so sick, and disgusted by his funeral. It was a nice service, I’ve been told by many. And it’s true. It was a Catholic service obviously, so many of the customes were lost on me, but it was tasteful, and tbh, was probably exactly what David would have wanted. The reason I’m disgusted by it, is the lack of his friends there.
I was asked by the family, to help out. It was up to me to get in touchwith his friends and let them know about the funeral. I helped out where I could, and I told all I could. I called Scott, Davids best friend, and it was up to be to say he died. Then I called another few people, texted a few people, told families of some, and then I emailed some more. Around 30 people got told by email, and then the others I’d spoekn to all assured me they’d say to everyone else they could, and let them know.
It’s because of this that I felt so disgusted, and ashamed, and furious, that at his service, a grand total of 4, that’s FOUR, people turned up. Another 2 turned up at the cemetary, and another 2 have since contacted me saying that they couldn’t make it. Nobody ever had a bad thing to say about him, but no bastard has even batted an eyelid.
On the other hand, back in January another of my old friends passed away. Matthew Norman was a nice guy, who again, very few people had anything against him. I personally had not spoken to him since leaving school, since he and I had always had our differences, but he was a good person.
However, in January, he died, and I couldn’t get to the funeral for various reasons. I couldn’t get time off of work, and I also didn’t feel the funeral was the right place for me to go because we hadn’t spoken for so long. In truth, I felt kind of ashamed; Matthew had often spoken to my father, asking how I was and telling me to go see him, but I never did. I just pushed the idea aside: as I said, me and him had never really seen eye to eye.
So, after Matthews funeral I was sent several derogatory messages, insulting me for not being there – one even stated I should be the one dead, not Matt. I had every intention to pay my respects to him in my own way, but that wasn’t good enough.
I was also told by several that I waS the only person from our year at school who didn’t attend. It was actually pointed pout to me yesterday that this was a lie becasue David wasn’t there, but it’s the whole point I’m making. If I was the only one not there, then several shouldn’t have been. Our year had many people who wouldn’t have paid Matt (or David) a seconds notice, and they were still there, weeping and crying. On the other hand, they wouldn’t show anything for David, who deserved their presence as much as Matthew. I will not claim more, but I truly do not believe he deserved any less.
It now fills me with so much hatred for the twisted ways of people that things should have turned around so much. Davids family are completely destrought, and no cunt seems to give a fuck.
Now I know that I sound like a lunatic, but I don’t care. I really hope those who didn’t show realise how selfish and pathetic have been. And I really, really hope that the people who sent me messages for not being at Matts funeral realise just how two-faced them not showing up is, and give themselves a fucking good slap for being such tossers.
Last thing to say I guess, is a thank-you to those people who did show up. I know how much Davids family appreciated it. So, I thank those who were there, and those who got in touch with their regards for the family at this time.
In Memory
David Anthony Quinn
04 October 1985 – 04 September 2007

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