Gaming

Athleticism

Well, yet again the Americans have proved themselves the stupidest nation around. Or at least, the American Government has proved itself the stupidest, as gamers are now officially recognized as […]

Well, yet again the Americans have proved themselves the stupidest nation around. Or at least, the American Government has proved itself the stupidest, as gamers are now officially recognized as professional athletes.

Now, having looked into it a bit, it’s clear that this is a conclusion they have reached reluctantly after a lengthy appeal process, but one they have reached nonetheless.

The decision is actually a bit more in-depth than that. League of Legends Pro Gamers are recognized as athletes. As said, this is because of an appeal from Riot games so that gamers in the LoL professional league can get Visas easier to go to America and play the game. Which makes sense: it’s not like they have any other way of playing it, as LoL has no online play whatsoever[!]

But let’s look at this deeper. The definition of Athletes has a much bigger meaning: if I understood my algebra properly (large chance I didn’t) if Pro Gamers = Pro Athletes, then Gamers = Athletes. Technically, I’m an athlete. And my school always said I’d amount to nothing.
Of course, I’m never going to become a Professional Athlete, since I don’t have the drive or the slightest inkling to play the one game over and over.

Now, Devils Advocate here, but I completely disagree with the conclusion. Videogames aren’t an athletic sport. There is no physical gain; other than slightly increased reactions; to constant gaming. Hell, that’s the same power as spider-man: can I be officially recognized as a superhero? Dictionary.com defines athlete: “a person trained or gifted in exercises or contests involving physical agility, stamina, or strength; a participant in a sport, exercise, or game requiring physical skill.” Now obviously the skill part is true, but the rest just fails. Athletes are at the peak of their game: high stamina, great speed, etc etc. They definitely are not people who are likely to develop deep-vein-thrombosis while partaking in their particular game. With this, we’re going to end up with a hugely increased number of dead athletes this year, with the number suffering asthma attacks up 1 million percent, and the average body mass tripled.
Not to mention that drug rules will have to be severely revised. You can’t allow athletes to sit and drink red-bull, pop pro-plus, and take inhalers when they get too excited: it’s an unfair advantage over those who don’t like caffeine or who have run out of inhalers.

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